You obviously don't deserve it.... Part 1

Between the heated console wars and the fresh release of a new Instagram app I can't help but think: You obviously don't deserve it.

Today Facebook had a big press conference and released a new Instagram app.  The new app is the same as the old app, BUT IT ADDS VIDEO!  This is important because Facebook has been directly competing with Twitter recently to steal your social life.  Twitter released a little gem called Vine.  Vine allows you to post 6-second videos to the web.  Yes, SIX ENTIRE SECONDS.  Those have to be some unbelievably amazing seconds to bother posting them on the internet, right?  WRONG.  The key difference here between the two apps is going to be the length of the videos.  Instagram now allows you to post 15-second clips... right to Instagram.  Now you can take a short video of that meal that you just took a picture of.  OH BOY!

While I am all for "social" and I love pushing technology forward.... how fucking self-centered can you fucking be?  What makes anyone that isn't a beautiful woman think that anyone gives flying fuck what it is that they do all day?  Beyond that, why would they ever want to see small 15-second snippets that they find meaningful, artistic or awesome?  The fact that a single app exists, I don't understand.  The fact that now there are two competing apps for this... HOLY FUCKING SHIT!  Yet, somehow I live in a world where I am in a minority without a college degree.  I'm obviously not cultured enough to understand.

The reason why they don't deserve it?  Because hordes of Android users have been filling up message boards and spewing vile shit all over the ratings FOR HOURS.  Why?  Because the app doesn't work?  Nah.  Because it makes their phone explode?  Nah.  Because I sends naked pictures to their grandmother?  Nope.  Because they didn't read the description and requirements for the fucking application?  BINGO!

People didn't bother to read the part where it requires a specific Android version number to use this new feature.  You can watch it from any version, but you must have the latest version to take video.  Obviously the well-educated masses that are sheepishly following this trend aren't all going to have new-ish smartphones.  It's a cruel world out there with no 15-second videos, guys.  Facebook seems to be working on a version that is more widely compatible, it will probably be available very soon.  Until then we will drown in a sea of tears of the Gingerbread masses.